Life
by Sorehai
Summary: Vincent reflects, chapter by chapter he will connect,compare, and contrast with a multitude of characters that he has met. His thoughts also occuring after the end of the game, before movie.


**Authoress Note:** Hello. It's been awhile since I last posted something FFVII related. I have been so very busy… And then my inspiration died after I was finally free… Anyway, this is the one-shot turned multi-chaptered fiction that I have written in the point of view from Vincent. You could call these reflections after the game but before Advent Children. I made him seem a bit softer as to get behind the gunman and more to the man. Never the less I tried my best to keep Vincent in character. Adding a few quirks here and there. Throughout this fic I will have Vincent, in each chapter, refer and talk to a certain person. Like compare/contrast, and how certain memories are linked. The first one being Cloud. Essentially, all chapters will be named after the other character involved. I will involve other characters as well, not just focusing on AVALANCHE. You will know when the final chapter is posted because it will be entitled "Vincent". Here he shall confront the last of his demons.

Disclaimer: I still do not own FFVII which makes me sad because I was just brushing up on my Vincent shrines I bookmarked… I felt so sad for him… GAH, focus, so yes, Square Enix owns.

* * *

We sin. 

We hate.

We save.

We love.

We live.

We die.

We human beings are quite busy creatures aren't we? Capable of so much, easily feigning any emotion we desire. I personally think everyone is born with the same emotions. They are just used differently. Who says a villain is entirely evil? Who says a God is entirely pure? Many people do. Unfortunately they contradict what they say with what they do. Through acts we call crimes. As we all know, murder, drug use, rape, theft, and even lying and cheating. Assassination being a huge one. I would, being part of the Turks, qualify easily for that crime. Yet no one would say a thing to me now. I look almost nothing the way I used to. My chemically altered eyes. The claw, hair, my skin. All of these factors will easily alter how people approach you. Sometimes I wonder, do I really intimidate? When I walk, hesitant eyes burn into the back of my neck. When I talk, it seems avoiding eye contact with me is there top priority. How sad is sometimes feels, knowing I can barely find a decent conversation when I actually feel like talking. Traveling with this group of ... "Merry" individuals will do that to you. They open you up, change you.

I suppose I really do owe Cloud. He looks as though we are doing him the bigger favor. In some ways that isn't all that true. When he came down to the basement, something that had long been abandoned long ago, it was rather a shock. I no longer wished to talk to people, interaction was the last thing on my mind. "People" would and had already shunned me. What was there left?

Cloud obviously knew. He and I, shared quite a few similarities. Lamenting, shielding ourselves from the world. Never taking the chance. Feeling the fear of persecution, knowing that when you falter, someone will make sure you never forget. After being around Hojo it is rather hard to not get paranoid, the feeling that almost everyone is out to get you. Even when it is noticeably untrue.

His goal: To avenge Aeris. To stop Sephiroth. Honestly, I think that was an excuse. He couldn't really handle it all within his fragile psyche.

My goal: To atone for my past sins. When I think about it now, I can understand why I was so gloomy. Rather hard to start a conversation with someone who is still in love with a dead woman. Thankfully, I have resolved large chucks of said problem.

Cloud and I aren't "average". That is the last word I would use to describe us. Cloud, was not the great legendary Hero that all knew, he didn't have the characteristics, the feeling of self-worth. He was thrown into a problem and given false hope and love. Tifa lied and created this great portrait of what she "wished" Cloud was. Something to take her mind of what she had done. Aeris saw traces of her old love in Cloud. The uniform, the sword, and maybe even the looks. She never really knew Cloud. AS much as he SAYS she did.

Me? I fell in love with a woman who could only handle friendship. At the most. I became ignorant, delusional, unable to acknowledge that she loved Hojo and not I. But when I saw her pain, I must have snapped. She was with child and the man was purposely hurting her. I know he knew what he was doing. Did he really love Lucrecia? I don't know. I can't tell. All I knew was I wanted to help her, make her feel better. To save the child that resided within her... If I did, maybe Sephiroth wouldn't turn out the way he did... But it is too late for that isn't it? I was felt like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders the day I finally got what I seeked. To know I can live without her, that people can co-exist with me.

Thirty years had gone by when Cloud found me in the coffin. I look almost no older than I was after Hojo shot me. I should really be in my fifties. I remember telling Cid that one day. The cigarette fell right out of his mouth. Being 32, the "elder" of the group, Cid was having issues comprehending that information after looking me over. he and I were the babysitters I suppose you could say. When Cloud was away anyway.

What do I admire about Cloud? That fact that even after living such a lie, he still walks on. Knowing that we all know the truth, the possibility of someone leaving the group as quickly as they come. He had a goal. He set out and accomplished that goal. Against all the lies, the mental trauma that he did NOT need, he did create a variation of the hero he once wanted to become.

I sometimes wonder, if I had done what he had done... If I kept going, where would I be now? A gun for hire, maybe finding some town to call home, or worse. Dead. The fact I am still alive, makes me very proud.

Cloud, the next time I see you wandering about, I will thank you. You gave me hope, and I finally realized that.

* * *

I know, not very long but... That's only the starting chapter. I promise they will be more lengthy. If anything, after I get more chapters up, I'll come back and re-do this one. 

As a note: through-out this fiction, the only pairing that will be discussed is the one sided Vincent/Lucrecia. There will be no hintings at other pairings as to leave this unbiased in at least that sense. You may choose to interpret certain things, but those would be solely your opinion.

Remember, all feedback welcome.


End file.
